Emotionless


Emotions affect the way one think, which in turn affects all the things that happen to someone. I have always believed on this. Since I was very young, I developed gradually the process of becoming "emotionless". Is this possible? How could this affect one and decisions in life?

Subjectivity is a term that relates to emotions. When we become so happy, we feel too elated that we want the feeling to linger more. Some even think that being happy may cause one to worry for something sad that may happen afterwards. I was once part of these few people, who believed on the temporary nature of happiness. Now, no more I believe on this, for becoming successful involves one to believe that life of abundance is possible. This can only be achieved if one focuses on goals in life and repeats this continuously in the mind, regardless on, whether it may be possible or not. Unfortunately, extreme focus is not an easy task. This involves one to be very objective on things, leading to lose their subjectivity - becoming emotionless or stoic.

Do not get me wrong. I am not entirely emotionless. I just select the emotions I must feel. Of course, when I should be happy, I should. My friends see me joyful and may even describe me as childish at these times. Why should I withhold being happy, when this is just the goal of every human being. We pray to be happy and to stay happy and contented. However, it is inevitable that people get angry, annoyed, sad and even anxious. This is when being emotionless for me works. I tend to separate my anger, annoyance, sadness and anxiety from the situation. I literally dissect the situation objectively and the need to show feelings in these times. This is because these feelings we all know can be very self-destructive.

Dissection of situation. Is it quite interesting or difficult to understand? Perhaps for me, I try to find the cause why I felt a certain feeling. I know it is quite not therapeutic in communication to ask why a person feels a certain way. It is just hard to answer and understand. Understanding the cause of the feeling is not really difficult, but confronting reality is just what we do not like to do at times. We tend to cope by covering what is real from what is unreal. We do this spontaneously and unconsciously. This makes it very difficult, but in time, through practice I developed this habit of confronting reality. How? For example when I get annoyed at my performace in an exam. The annoyance was not really just an outburst of emotion, but because at times, we compare ourselves to others and it annoys us to see ourselves in comparison of others. It eventually hurts our ego. This can be unproductive and may even result to actions towards others that may harm them directly or indirectly. Thus, controlling such feeling leads you to be less subjective, less emotional, or simply emotionless.

People reading this blog may think I am presenting the good side of being emotionless. I will be fair. There are downsides, as well. Being emotionless may cause you to be objective on yourself, to situations you are in and even on dealing with other people. Practice of being emotionless may lead you to think that others should behave in a certain manner. You literally analyze how should others feel in situations, leading for you to be misunderstood and be considered insensitive. 

For example, a person cried for a failure on a task he or she did not prepare. It is obvious that one person should not cry because if he or she had the prudence before to see what will happen, he or she could have done better. Thus, crying may not be an option to solve a problem, but it can be used to get attention of others for them to help you ease the bad feeling a little bit and offer their time to listen how you feel. However, the main problem has still not yet been addressed. All one need to do is just move on and hope if another similar situation happens, he or she will exercise more prudence in it.

I only presented very simple scenarios. Let us take this to a higher perspective. Being emotionless is generally not good in social relationships. Relationships are mostly founded in emotions and sometimes it becomes the core of it. Objectivity within relationships may cause people to feel isolated and not getting the comfort one needs. Especially in relationships where petty quarrels happen, analyzing each situation objectively may sound very non-sense. Quarrels may show some patterns and an emotionless person could easily distinguish the next step and maybe anti-climactic to a very dramatic partner. 

Personally, the key to these situation is understanding. Understanding both sides and perhaps a compromise. The difficult task for an emotionless individuals is to compromise to show some subjectivity. Obviously, that is just not their nature! The partner of an emotionless person will have to deal with it and may even benefit from it in time. Trust me I have seen most of my closest friends just getting used to who I am and how I deal with situations. Unconsciously, I could see they too are becoming one. I did not influence them, but perhaps they too saw the advantages of becoming emotionless at times.

When you are clear with what you want, you will know where to go. I am not implying becoming emotionless makes it easier to make decisions. It is not. However, when I am confronted with a dilemma, I put restraint on myself not to react yet and take time to see how things should go. Just imagine yourself making negative comments or reactions, when you have not even assessed the real situation. You might be put in an awkward moment wherein you have to standby with your emotions, instead of what is right. Therefore, decisions are not easier made, but it helps one to acquire a framework on how to approach dilemmas objectively, without one becoming too emotional or involved.

Does it sound too Platonic? This means one is using more his or her mind than his or her emotions. However, I guess I am not. There is one subjectivity in life that I do not attempt to comprehend for It is in itself incomprehensible. This is God. When I pray to God, I become objective on what I need. When I commit mistakes, I explain everything objectively, confronting my ego bluntly. It hurts but I just talk to God, the way I talk to an emotionless friend. God is not emotionless. Do not get me wrong. However, I believe God wants us to ask for something. He will not give it if we ourselves does not know what we want and why we need it.

Lastly, people ask me if I am contented. I can say, I am, but I am still moving forward. Whatever challenges I will have ahead, I will face it with courage. Whatever my achievements was a product of how I think, how I deal with my emotions and how I work hard to fulfill a predetermined goal in my life. It is indeed all in the mind and becoming objectively emotionless.




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