My Hardworking Father

I admit that I am not as close with my father as I am with my mother. There are times that I do not agree with my father's decisions but I totally respect and admire him as the head of our family.         

Life was not easy for my father's family. They have to struggle for daily needs. Due to this, my father was left without option but to stop going to school. Aside from that, he is the eldest of five children, so he was expected to contribute financially to meet the needs and for the benefit of the whole family.

His name is Julius, named after a Roman emperor, who changed the world forever. In my life, Julius made me realize how I should see the world and live the way I should - that is, to care for others regardless of what the person I achieved. Aside from my mathematical skills and obvious facial resemblance with him, I inherited his people skills founded on empathy and humility in accepting that one needs another to survive in this world.

Like Julius Cæsar, my father assumed several roles in my life.

JULIUS AS A FRIEND

I was only able to talk to my father like a friend, after I got a job. I remember the time that we both became emotional and somehow cried after watching the movie, Hatchiko in the HBO. Or the time that I shared my goals for the family, just like how I do with my friends. I know he may not be present always for me but I know he is always there for me.

He is a good listener and even answers some my philosophical questions honestly. I talked to him now without fear because I know he will not judge me or will never hurt me. Like a friend,he had never laid a hand on me. I was never spanked or physically hurt in anyway possible. He believes the importance of communication and discussion, as means of influence, rather than reward and punishment.

JULIUS AS THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY

Objectively speaking, he was not the perfect provider and family's finance manager. However, he did everything he could to support the whole family. He worked as a farmer and managed our store, which was our primary source of income. Due to some uncontrollable circumstances and increasingly demanding lifestyle changes before, both endeavours failed. Since he was primarily accountable of the situation, he was humble enough to admit his faults. Although it was difficult, he made immediate actions for us to survive during that time.

I remember one time when he said to me directly, although drunk, how he loves us and somehow he is reliquishing his right as the head of the family, as if he does not deserve it. I was speechless. I know why he said that. He contributed less than he expected in my college education. Since I was able to manage, he must have thought of passing his authority as the family's decision maker. He added that it is okay for him that time will come that we will forget him. I know he felt self-pity but for me, no one can take his position as the head of our family. It is and forever will be.

JULIUS AS A FATHER

Innately fair, my father treated us the way we wanted. He is not the authoritative father, although at first he seemed to be like that. I remember when I played with real money taken from our store, I was very afraid then that I expected that my father would hit me. Seeing me fearful that resulted me to have urinary incontinence, my father did not say anything and rather hugged me. It was a defining moment of who my father is.

He is a father, who does not care of taking his authority as a father. He helped me in my projects and literally followed what I instructed him to do. He did not bother about him taking instructions from me. Not all fathers would do that. This has not just happened once but many times. One time, I arrived late due to some unfinished projects without permission. He asked me and just reminded me to ask permission in a friendly way and did not scold me in anyway. At times, I know he knows that I am committing a mistake, but I never heard anything negative from him. He simply said to me that he trusts me. That was significant for me.

Regardless of what role Julius assumed, he is one of the most influential person in my life. We love him and I truly respect who he is and who became. I may not be the perfect son but as long as I live, I will always be grateful that I have him as my father. I would not be the person that I am today without him. I will always be proud that Julius is my father. Happy Father's Day Tay! I love you

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