Give Me Reasons to Believe
When I was younger, I had many dreams. I wrote all of them one at time. One by one, I started to fulfill most of them. It was difficult and filled of challenges, but I never gave up. I kept moving even there were no reasons to continue. I just kept going and going as I will reach somewhere and something significant. Here I am to where I stand. Quite different from where I were, but still the same young man full of dreams.
Give me. I wanted to receive, more than to give. I was selfish like anyone. I desire all the good things in life. However, the more I forced myself and obliged others to give me want I want like a spoiled-brat, I ended empty-handed. The unending desire to get power, wealth and attention was always there. I was never contented, even I already I dreamed of. I did not stop until I got exhausted chasing for the universe to give me what I want. It was counterproductive for expecting others to give something, for nothing I have done would yield certainly still with nothing.
Reasons. Logic was always important for me. When I triumph, I rationalize how I succeeded. I wanted others to follow all the things I made to show that there were reasons why achievements happen more than miracles others claim. All those things were out of sensible decision-making based on good critical-thinking. However, it was not all good. There were days when expectations did not meet reality. Nevertheless, I still have reasons for it. Things not to do again- are those lists I will never forget for all reasons gave me a reason to continue to believe.
To believe. The hardest part in life is to keep one's faith. Convincing oneself of a thing to occur even the odds say otherwise. Yes, it is all in the mind for us believers and dreamers. There is no limit to what we aspire. Everything is possible as long as I believe. These words keep on repeating in mind, providing more fuel to move and keep on believing. However, it is difficult for man sees reality, which is often the opposite to what one believes on. The good things are just on the mind but my senses perceive otherwise.
Now I no longer know what to do. I asked then I received, but I kept asking for more. I was still discontented. Furthermore, I enriched my mind with knowledge and logic to make things simplier and more predictable, but life proves otherwise. The more we search for truth and facts, the more we realize we are more ignorant than before. Never will it happen that our mind holds all bytes of knowledge found to exist. Moreover, I kept on believing, as a contrast of logic. If I do not know, then I just need to believe. I would rather close my eyes and walk without asking. Keeping the fire burning without thinking of methods and consequences. It was just about faith.
However, all those were not enough. I still feel I am young regardless of my age. I am still naive to believe that when I ask, someone would be willing to give. I am still ignorant that when I search for reasons, more and more questions will be left unanswered. I still hold scepticism that faith alone would guarantee none. I am young but forgetful like an old man. I do not remember that life does not just revolve around myself. It is not just about me, but also perhaps you. Thanks for reminding this.