Philandering Explained


This is a taboo topic in social discourse but a common one. Why do people philander within a relationship? Not a difficult question to answer but no one would ever discuss it why. Is this more natural or a moral human weakness that has developed simultaneously with changes in the society? These questions are the focus of this opinionated blogpost.

Attention Currency

Think a person can dispose 100 dollars in a week. It is up to an individual how to use the amount up in seven days. Perhaps, one could buy more in the weekends than other days of the week. Think the analogy between attention and the disposable amount. If one would want to use 20 out 100 on Fridays but ends up using only 5, so a person is still capable of using 15 on a day. There is a surplus of money, or in this analogy, attention. If one gets not enough attention on a day than one expects to; ofcourse, one would tend to get that attention from another person. Moreover, a person's partner may think he or she is giving something worth 20, but the other only think it is worth five. Obviously, a mismatch in either expectation or attention between individuals spur the intial phase of cheating.

Personal Crises

Cheating usually occurs during or around personal crises. There is an assumption of someone in need and the other meeting those needs. Those needs maybe in varying forms: physical, mental, emotional, social and even economic. Today, the world we live in is needs-based. People are striving to fill-up those gaps they have in them, and if needed, one may drastically find the solution beyond the existing and traditional ones. Instead of attempting to ask help from a current partner, due to the overwhelming nature of the crisis, people tend to prefer getting help from a stranger to get a fresh perspective of solving things. Thereafter, paving the way for the budding stage of philandrous relationship.

Convenience in the Society

There are two levels here: social acceptance and convenience. If the society seems to have more liberal virtues, focused on one's ability to decide on oneself without being persecuted; the greater the probability of philandering. Nothing hinders one in doing so. Interestingly, in many culture women are not accepted to be unfaithful than men. This double-standard morality makes philandering tolerable for men than men. Moreover, in the onset of online social platforms, cheating has become a facilitated exercise. People need not use to much time and resources finding the person to meet or be with, making cheating relatively discreet and easier.

No one wants someone cheating on them. This is the most certain thing of all. People could decide easily and blindly to cheat on anyone but the consequences of philandering both on a personal and relationship scale are significantly deleterious and sometimes permanent. However, this blogpost does not intend to justify philandering as a phenomenon. It happens and it actually common, so it deserves to be discussed into the open. To what purpose is something we could decide variably on.

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