Showing posts from November, 2022

Living Alone: The Journey

Five years ago, suddenly I had to live alone in a city I have barely known before. That time I had managed to get a full-time job, and a safe place to live. That is all I had. I had limited social network, but one-by-one most of them suddenly were at a good distance from me - then one day, I realized I was starting to embark a new path in my life, that is living alone in a new country. This experience is the focus of this blogpost. First phase: the newfound independence You suddenly have a lot of time to use, but you don't know where to start. You can hope things to be smooth-sailing, like you will meet people outside your home and they will immediately accept you as a friend. Yet, instead of motivating yourself to go out and explore, you hesitate. However, you are free to do whatever you want. No would care to know your whereabouts at a certain time. You are independent, and will continue to be that way in the near future. That idea of freedom is very exciting, but cou

Shikata Ga Nai: New Perspective

The first time I saw this phrase was in Facebook. It caught my eyes because it is associated with being negative but quite common and seemingly normalized. It intrigued me because it somehow compares to the Filipino saying, " Bahala na. " Literally, this Japanese phrase means "nothing can be done about it." This expression has contrasting themes, and this will be the focus of this blogpost. Have dignity in difficult times. Force majeure, a situation beyond our control. This is perhaps a tragedy, calamity or perhaps an accident, economic hardships, or just as simple as an end of a relationship. All of these situations are difficult to handle. However, even these are stress-provoking, we have to maintain dignity in ourselves. Even though one has little or no alternatives left, he or she is expected to accept and endure the pain or consequences in a dignified manner. For example, if one has budgeting deficits, one has to accept to work for long hours. So be

Listen, Talk or Walk (Poem)

Let us talk. Listening to you, I have now time. Here is a fine possibility of shifts of paradigm Creating a safe space to make time well-spent Yet requiring confidence in both to be present Put aside preconceived judgments or prejudice Or else, this triggers each other's nemesis Because bias would just hinder us to converse Our differences emphasized, things get worse There will be no exchange of ideas therefore No eagerness nor feelings of love or ardour However, do we have to mend issue on trust? Manipulation, power games are simply unjust It's crucial, both must feel comfortable and safe Express empathy to hinder ending up in chafe Yet, there will never be optimal level of rapport Be honest, not discriminate to achieve candour At least please have no bad intentions at me before 'Cause that could be a reason for me to ignore For a bad person can strike again by chance Mutual benefits therefore never would advance Unconsciously they'd might hide grudge at

Never Never Again (Poem)

Life will never be the same again. As a result of being treated in disdain Looking back will never be enough. Perceived reality was just like a bluff   Regret will never be an option either. Even for me such an optimist believer Everything revolves on moving forward. Strong-willed now; that’s straightforward. This will be a marathon pressing on to a line. Using all stamina and power against a decline Never again to be fooled by trolls of the north Not like a lively dance step back and forth.   All other alternatives are self-destructive. Even the best suggestions are unproductive. There is no other better option either I see. Make things easy for me - that is my plea   Nothing makes the situation better but this. Any reconsiderations are definitely dismissed Things have permanently changed for weeks. Just downturns, no more recoveries or peaks   It was painful enough to induce silence in me Never visioned you going against me beastly Never imagined what situation I was even

What will I say to my 15-year-old self?

I am 35 years old now, and I do not have problem to admit that my life twenty years ago was quite different. I was in my third year in high school, and life was difficult. I understood at that early age that the world is never fair, and it will never be. The people with power and money will prevail and attempt to dominate to whatever degree they would want, and the rest would have to accept this hard truth with open arms and try to do everything one could to get a better future ahead. Twenty years ago, every peso in my pocket counted. I knew I have to use my resources optimally to ensure that I could cover all the necessary expenses I have every day. I learned the value of money and learned living within my means.  I was definitely an optimist, but very practical in essence. I dreamt to have a better life, just enough to say I can live comfortably within what is possible. I was dreaming for whatever that is “better” from what I had. Today, my life is different. Looking back

Never question what love is

I have been confronted several times why I give a lot of myself when I love something or someone. I end up even changing who I am just for love. Unhealthy it may seem but I will provide reasons why and how love as experienced results to unimaginable level of affection to another. This is to give answers as to how love changes individuals, even though there is really no point of asking a question about what love is. This is point of interest of this blogpost. I am capable of loving unconditionally because I experienced it in my family. Without question, without condition, love is just expressed. If it takes to do the impossible, to change the unchangeable, my family did that. I saw it. I felt it. I experienced it. I never asked question why because it was just the way it is. I thought that was the natural way. I did not realize that for some, love is so scarce such that they end up questioning everything how and why, being sceptic with everyone's intentions of affection.