Happy Long-Term Relationship

In these challenging times when finding the right person to trust and to be with is hard, having a long-term relationship is significantly more difficult. Divorce rates are high throughout countries, which legally allows couples to do so. For those who are not even married, relationship does not simply last that long. Are there things needed for relationships to work? We have heard many stories about success and failure of long-term relationships, but there is a need to tackle this topic thoroughly.

Firstly, let us define what long-term relationship is. The exact duration on when to consider a relationship long-term varies from one case to another. In this blog, we will be referring long-term relationship as a bond not dependent on time, rather depending on meeting essential conditions for it to exist. Since long-term relationships are not perfect, all these conditions may not be met but most of these must be achieved and fulfilled optimally.

What are these, these are the five conditions:

1.    ATTRACTION

      Individuals entering on a relationship need to be attracted with each other. This may come easily or developed through time. Several theories about how people get attracted depend on personal preferences on attributes of a partner. Everyone knows the feeling of being attracted to someone but it maybe short-lived and insufficient to make a long-term relationship. Most of the blossoming relationships stop at this point.

      Attraction is dependent on a set of standards a person has for their partner to possess. This is formed through time from various experiences and upbringing. It is important that a person knows what they want. Not having a clear standard results from not able to form any long-term relationship. One probability is that getting vague standards results to one wandering to nowhere, not knowing what they want and what they are finding for.

2.   NEEDS SATISFACTION

Each person are different in the way their needs are met, as well as the number of perceived important needs. Needs maybe separated into several areas: physical, emotional, social, mental, spiritual, financial etc.

Many individuals remain in relationship as the partner meets their basic needs. When the relationship fulfills bodily needs in a certain way the person wants, the relationship may last longer. Incompatibilities in meeting these needs may result to frustrations and coping, which maybe self-destructing. On the other hand, when a person makes you feel happy, emotional needs are met. Here we see that many people are falling in love to strangers even. That spark they say when they are with the other is an indication that the other person is connecting emotionally.

Moreover, developing self-esteem and getting social acceptance is also important in any relationship. This becomes a problem when relationship is hidden or simply prohibited as culture dictates. In addition, communication between people is not simply an exchange of words but an exchange of thoughts. Some people prefer to be with people on their same mental wavelength, while others choose not. However, the key is understanding each other.

Other factors may affect minimally or maximally, such as religion or financial status. This is dictated usually by culture and circumstances. These factors extremely narrows one’s options and even compromise free will. People may stay in long-term relationships just because of these factors but they may not end up very happy in the end.

3.      COMMUNICATION
      
      This crucial element requires time and effort.  There are no shortcuts with it and sometimes involve creativity. This is affected extremely by many factors. There are two parts of communication: content and the context. If there were nothing to talk about, then why would people communicate? The stream of communication or content must be free-flowing and voluntary. It becomes hard also if the context is difficult. Context refers to situation that aids or hinders communication. For example, when a partner separates physically away from the other due to work, the couple may find it challenging to deal with technological and time-related issues, which may weaken the relationship. However, this difficult times may also be strengthen by the existing bond.

4.      DISTANCE

Talking to the same person in front of you face-to-face regularly adds up to a happy long-term relationship. Sometimes, it may not be necessary for this to be present at all times. However, if distance becomes a problem, the time people had been together and reasons why they need to stay together must be stronger to compensate with the physical separation. Children within marriage in some culture may provide good reasons to stay together.

Many relationships have survived, even in the midst of physical separation; but for it to stay longer and remain happy, compromises must be made and the other four conditions listed must be strongly met.

5.    TRANQUILITY

      Peace of mind. A person maybe attracted, satisfied, physically-in-contact and communicating with another person, but if peace of mind is not achieved, everything may fail. Being in a long-term relationship involves a high degree of comfort. Comfort that stems from the soul. It feels like one is sleeping and relaxing with someone in the most convenient place on Earth such that one would want to remain on the relationship for long period of time or perhaps forever.

      This requires people to understand each other and view themselves together in the same direction in life. Quarrelling everyday may not contribute to peace of mind. Understanding instead of jealousy is needed. This creates the need for both to understand that nothing is perfect, and everything is a work in progress. Trust is essential as it strengthens faith that the relationship would last and that no significant reasons exists to believe that the relationship will fail. Moreover, insecurities in one self may arise, but individuals within a relationship must avoid affecting the other’s peace of mind to improve and move forward peacefully and happily in life.

Lastly, it seems very challenging to achieve all of these conditions. It is never easy, they say. Balance must be attained. No wonder some people opt not to have a long-term relationship. Some tried to have one, but ended up getting not a good one. Hoping of having a long-term relationship is not sufficient, but working on it to make it happy and long-lasting is recommended to everyone.:-)

Comments

  1. UnknownMay 27, 2014 at 2:12 AM

    you forget one thing...the most important of all...LOVE... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. pablo_akoMay 27, 2014 at 10:07 AM

      Love for me is the general term that encompasses everything. :-)

      Delete
  2. Sridhar ChandrasekaranMay 28, 2014 at 6:07 AM

    you have an interesting blog. thanks for sharing, i enjoyed your posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. pablo_akoMay 28, 2014 at 6:35 AM

      Thank you for appreciating. God bless you always.

      Delete

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