Walk With Closed Eyes

Many times in my life I experienced difficulties. Looking back with all those hardships, I can not imagine where I am today. The feeling seems to be unreal but I just feel blessed, even things are not perfect. I know there is something more.

In year 2000, my life changed. We were living fine before and I could get what I want. All of a sudden, my family's income source went down and everything changed. I shifted school and had to make use of the little things my family had.

I remember one humid afternoon, I fell asleep in our sofa and woke up daydreaming that everything bad will end. I wrote everything I want to do. Those were my dreams for myself and for my family. I just wanted to help my family, be a scholar in a college, get the highest honors one can get, and work and live abroad with the opportunity to travel wherever I want to.

For those who know me well, perhaps there are smiling after what I have just written are almost happening in reality since I am on my way or currently on that state now. Who would imagine a simple child with so many dreams in a small town is now living in Europe with some great opportunities ahead. I never really expected it. I just walked with my eyes closed in this journey called life. I merely had strong faith, optimism and determination.

When I was 12, I just want to attend and win competitions by representing my school. I did that within 4-year-period after that. When I was 16, I just want to have scholarships in different universities. I did not get just one but four in two courses, nursing and medicine. But I was not lucky enough after, I still had difficulty financially in school. None of the four scholarships can ensure I could finish the course without spending anything for any school-related expense. I wished and I met a person who spent for my tuition, miscellaneous, books, review for licensure exam and other unrelated expense in exchange for nothing. What a blessing indeed!

I continued to dream. I dreamt of getting the highest honor in school. It was impossible but I did. I made history in my school in college. That paved a lot of opportunities, as well as alot of pressure for me to do good in my licensure examination. I became lazy and hopeless at first but I stood up and continued to strive. I did it again and got one of the highest scores among 88,000 examinees. Quite impossible but it happened.

I was able to work early and sufficiently for myself. However, work became stressful. I thought I was losing my edge and wanted a big change. I started to doubt myself. But I continued having faith. I decided to make a sudden turn in my career in real estate by taking another licensure examination, which is totally strange for me. I doubted myself but I did it and even topped it. I am one of the few people in the country, who got two professional licenses and topped both licensure exams. I do not know if I deserve that, but I am very thankful.

I still continued but work has been heavier and more stressful. I thought I would be trapped in that kind of routine forever. Long workdays for a work deserving to have a better pay. That time I wanted to go out of the country. I did not know how and where to start given my limited resources then. But hey! I am now in Norway! Thanks for a brochure in a taxi.

It was not easy when I arrived in Norway, but I met people who helped me overcome one hurdle at a time. There were fears that I might go home empty-handed but still I made it. Moreover, I was just hoping before to work in a health institution, given my language deficiencies. But now I am learning more and working within healthcare. I never imagined that would be possible that I can have such options.

Now, I am hoping for something better to happen. Not just for myself but also for other Filipinos working here. This will affect not just my country but may serve a good precedence for other countries to follow. Will I or we clear it? I do not know for now. I will just continue to do things with strong faith, just like walking in a dark corridor with closed eyes.:-)


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