Those Awkward Questions
Have you ever been asked a question that made you feel awkward or uncomfortable to a point that nearly made you hurt? Reasons may not be enough to explain why you feel so, but you would rather not be asked why or further since it makes your feeling worse. Why seems so hard to answer that you do not know how to react further.
Questions have a lot meanings. It can be made easy but there exists a background why such question was made. The inquiries we make are rooted from what we value, how we were brought up by the society we live in, and the fears and thoughts we have. Whether planned or spontaneous, these questions can be thrown to anyone without considering how it can make the other feel. Moreover, regardless what reason or background these questions were made, at times we tend to forget that these questions by people, sometimes those who are dear and special to us.
In addition, these awkward meaningful questions are greatest source of miscommunication and inconvenience. Many tend to ignore the worth and effects of these questions, but in the long run, they eat up a solid foundation that once stood in relationships. Worse, people wake up one day not trusting another just because of these awkward unaddressed questions have accumulated for a long period time.
So what are examples of these questions. It could be: Have you not been going to the gym lately? Or, have you done something I did not know? Another could be, have you not learned this before? Or, Do you work? Have you tried to do like this before? Do you like to have this (what the other has)?
These are simple questions, but if stated in a different way, these could imply another meaning. Being asked of not going to the gym could mean one noticing one is gaining weight, although it could simply mean one asking if one seems busy of other things that keeps one to spend free time in the gym. On the other hand, being ask by someone if he or she is doing things with the other's prior knowledge could mean lack of trust or competence of the person, who "must be watch for". In addition, being ask about one working seems to imply in another context that the seems unexpecting based on impression that the other is not capable of working. Moreover, asking one whether he or she has prior learning or experience could be misconstrued as judgment, instead of merely a plain question. This also applies when one is asking of wanting a possession of one to another. It could suggest multiple degree of meanings depending on how the words were conveyed, or its contextual meaning.
In communication, every human must convey consistency and congruence with content and context. Content refers to what we say through words, while context refers to what we mean intentionally or unintentionally. Should there be a gap between the two, one must clarify immediately and get a straightforward answer, instead of a vague response to avoid making the context more complicated.
In this modern times when everything is convenient, asking questions seems to be very easy. However, whatever message we want to say or tell, we must always bear in mind that our words can change how the other thinks and feels. It is our responsibility to be sensitive and be adaptive on situations, involving people and issues. No one is perfect. No one expects one to be perfect in communication. However, one can always try and if a mistake has been committed, a straightforward clarification is enough to reassure the other that questions made mean nothing but simple and plain.