When You Know Something Will Change
Things have been gaining momentum in the past few days; but as of now, no concrete results still is evident. Personally, I do not know what I am waiting whether it is a solution, another plan or a miracle. However, one thing is for certain, things are going to change in next few weeks.
This blogpost is a semi-diary and an attempt to objectively describe how I feel at the start of the month. I know I am about to face a wall and I do not know whether in that wall, there doors for me to go into. Moreover, I even do not have any idea what awaits me, in case there is an opportunity to start anew. Here, I will state the three main themes to give meaning of my current experience.
Ambivalence where to go and what to expect
For now, I am seeing more than five choices simulatenously. All of them must be dealt forehand; such that possibilities must entertained and initiating actions to realize these probabilities must be taken seriously rather be ignored immediately. Through experience, I have never encountered such this major crossroad in my life. I feel that the next few days will be a deciding essential point in my carreer within this decade. Furthermore, the mere thought of it makes me excited but feels hesitant to take actions to avoid mistakes.
Anxious on anticipated decision-making
Too little time, less control on situations and enormous risks and decisions to make: all of these simply challenges me nowadays. It has been bewildering but I still keep my fingers crossed that the better is about to come. Furthermore, no one can predict the future; but perhaps we could lay foundations through planning and assessment of known possibilities. However, results will either turn out a success or less of it. Regardless of the what results will be, coping well with stress brought about by anxiety is necessary.
Optimism in the midst of uncertainty
My mind is working day and night such that I am exhausted mentally in an attempt to fathom and control situations not within my grasp and influence. However, I consider that I am running of options that uncertainty results. To think positive: This is something I only can do to continuously nurture hope within me. By doing so, I still have the energy, strength, will and focus I need to accomplish my desired goals in life.
Now, I have no option but to wait for things to unfold itself. I have strong belief that positive things will happen although this requires me to be extremely patient and courageous to chances and risks for a better future. Setting my mind for better things to occur, I hope next time I write ambivalence and anxiety further deteriorate in intensity but optimism would escalate as more suprises and opportunities come along my way.
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