Who To Be With

The search to find individuals to be with, especially the right partner is perhaps one of the most challenging of all. Many end up with relationships which are no longer producing the outcomes and meeting expectations one has. This is perhaps because one has not made the search as more specific as possible. Specific characteristics are very crucial such that these are universal requirements before being with someone for either for friendship or deeper relationships. This is the focus of this blogpost.

One who knows you well.

Not all people has the time or the will to know another person well. Everyone wants to hear only what is pleasing to one's ears. Some people would think that they could just in one day meet a person who will be eagerly interested with them and has all the characteristics they want. This however is not true in reality. For one to find someone, one has to be truly interested with meeting people, no matter who they are. One has to have the interest to listen to others, and share a part of themselves to even start knowing another better. One could not expect everything is visible and known at the time one meets for the first time. It pays to open one's eyes and ears before rejecting one. After some time, if things really fit to one's taste then politely detach , and then move on. Take the experience as a good means to learn from others, and improve one's social skills. In the long run, that will make an individual better socially.

One who accepts you unconditionally.

Knowing one's strengths and weaknesses is not sufficient ofcourse. One has to accept one for his or her past, present and the future inconvenience one could cause just by being with another. This is something not everyone is willing. People are convenient with themselves and everything that is familiar, such that involving oneself to something unfamiliar and different maybe perceived disadvantageous. However, by not having the open mind to accept another is more disadvantageous because that itself creates a hole in a possible relationship in the future. Without acceptance, one could go back to the past with regret, heavy heart and sadness, that will certainly affect negatively everything that will happen in the future alone, or with someone. Moreover, one could say they accept the other, but actions show otherwise. There should never be incongruence between words and actions. What is said should reflect the smallest gesture one has to the other.

One who is available most of the time.

Lastly, acceptance and awareness of the other person are not enough. This is to avoid a Platonic, or a fruitless relationship with an "absentee." One has to prioritize a person who has the time to be with another. People maybe compatible in most aspects, but time spent between individuals is not enough, such that they are creating two separate futures. In this situation, the relationship will not prosper due to inadequate common activities and interests people can do together. Time is the ultimate measure of a good relationship. If one person is not willing to share time with another, even one likes and accepts the other, the relationship has a weak base to build upon on. It is to say that what matters most is not the person one likes most, but the person who is willing to spend time with one. That would be an effective relationship barometer.

No one could actually say who is the best person to be with. Distinguishing such is as difficult as the search to be even meeting a person for the first time. However, these three so-called partner-friend requirements are common. One sometimes has to prioritize which of the three is more important than the other. No one perhaps can't have all but through time perhaps all the three will be manifested. This would give the assumption that one has the patience, interest and will to be in a relationship at least. Without them, things will just fail not just once, but every time would attempt so.


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