The Impossible Partner: 15 Desirable Traits


Not everyone in this world would eventually find a partner in life. In fact, the probability of being with the incorrect person is higher than the opposite. This is dependent on a person's expectations on how his or her partner should behave like. This makes it almost impossible for one to meet all sets of criteria of another, leading to an aspiration of a perfect but impossible partner. This is the focus of this blogpost, that is to enumerate the most common attributes of this certainly desired person, but very improbable for a single individual to possess all.

1. A person full of contrasts

A partner should never cease to be interesting. It is therefore desirable to be with a person full of contrasts. Determined but at times relaxed. Creative but sometimes rigid. Emotional but still stable. Stable but open for change. Experienced but still young at heart or the opposite. Relatable but not exactly the same as ourselves. The sharper the contrasts are the more interesting a person becomes.

2. A person who strives to be better

Self-improvement is a life-long process. A person who always strives to be better is a good influence and steward for another. He or she sees no imperfections, rather just points of improvement for oneself or another.

3. A person who finds time with you

There is a difference between having time and finding time with another. The latter is more desirable but the former is also important, especially in the long run. Time is a limited resource so a person should make use of it for one's advantage, his or her partner and their relationship. Moreover, time is something not to compromise, limited, rationalize or heavily-demanded. It should be given freely in a relationship.

4. A person who knows why you smile

A desirable trait is a person who reflects positivity in life. But people can express positivity even hiding some negativity. It is therefore desirable for a partner to know better the other such that he or she probably knows when a smile is truly indicative of happiness and not the opposite.

5. A person who will not share you with anyone else

Ofcourse, monogamy is still the standard form of relationship. However, this attribute would want to indicate is just that it is desirable that a partner would want another to spending more time with him or her, and not with another else. It is however undesirable to prevent one being with others, but it is natural that partners spend more time, may not be quantitatively but qualitatively.

6. A person who is not jealous and insecure

In a relationship, one will always be better, stronger, wiser or more stable. This sentence highlights one's strengths but perhaps also another's weakness. Therefore, a desirable partner knows his or her strengths and weaknesses, improve some of them, but will never see his or her partner as a hindrance to it.

7. A person who listens and talks

Comnunication is essential, and should be in a two-way process. It should not prescribed that we should listen more than talk because listening and talking are equally important skills. Just sometimes, people forget to listen to another and continue talking only about oneself. That is where the mistake is.

8. A person who laughs and cries with you

Any relationship requires a degree of emotions. It is anticipated that both individuals in a relationship would express his or her emotions freely but not against one's will. At least, individuals who laugh and cry together trust each other to a certain degree.

9. A person who supports you rightfully

One could be overly non-necessarily supporting another. The balance between interdependence and personal freedom should not just be a concern by us, but are expected for our partners as well.

10. A person who recognizes the first signs

Being sensitive to other's needs is a characteristic not everyone possess. People are more self-centered to how others would satisfy their needs. Hence, a person who recognizes the first signs of impending trouble or hidden needs is like a diamond in a hill of stones.

11. A person who makes you experience "firsts"

One important function of relationship is support. This support comes in different forms, like support to satisfy one's need for novelty. Experiencing new things will not just enrich an individual's personality but certainly would add spice to the existing relationship.

12. A person who decides when and what

Being goal-oriented is ofcourse desirable. Living in a harsh world with heart-crushing competition for limited resources and survival, a partner should know what he or she wants. Any wasted and incorrect decision would cost not just for that person but all his or her partner.

13. A person who does not make you a stalker

Being secure should be both be active and passive processes. One should assure one both in words and actions against threats and possibilities of cheating or infidelity. More importantly, the partner should feel secure after such assurance, indicating its sufficiency and truthfulness.

14. A person who could stop you

In partnership or in any relationship, reciprocity is vital. The other should be equally stedfast on what his or her partner believes is right or wrong. In case, a person is going the incorrect way, it is therefore expected his or her partner would do everything possible to convince partner to turn away or return to his or her previous ways.

15. A person who will never let you go

Most likely, a person is desired for not giving up and being tolerant and resilient. Tolerance is the sum of an individual's openness and acceptance that all humans commit mistakes, whether them being big or small, temporary or permanent. A mistake is therefore tolerated, openly-discussed, well-thought mutually before ending a relationship.

Those fifteen points are not everything in the long list of desirable attributes. Those are likely to be met but really not all at a certain time by a person. Those attributes were written in a very comprehensible manner to avoid polarizing opinions. It was written as neutral as possible and even to sound less demanding. However, the fact remains that humans are insatiable. No one would be ever satisfied by an individual who may have everything on the list. One would naturally find in one a trait a person does not have, elevating the expectation further up. The cycle repeats and this list will either become irrelevant or not encompassing, thereby the search continues for the impossible perfect partner.

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