Thank you, Tay (Poem)

Julius Jamero
✝️ July 19, 1959 - January 2, 2023

He was a person who I supposedly prioritized.
Quite late that he made changes I realized
He was a person who I should have given time.
But I waited long enough when things go fine.

In the middle of the night, brought all us tears.
A distinct voice now forever silent in our ears,
Just at sixty-three, now gone from us too soon,
Leaving memories which will certainly bloom

Tatay I call him. Grandfather for three youngs.
The lullaby he previously harmoniously sungs
The eldest of five siblings. Husband of my mom
Hectic, busy before, sometimes a steady calm

His short life was of hardships and laughter,
Of wisdom, strength and changes thereafter
A father with a unique, seldom smiling face.
Known to many, he never left from our place

Many remember him selling in our store before
His humor certainly gets attention in any floor
He was social, his calculations never a blunder
His practical skills, efficiency always a wonder

He worked so hard with goal of providing for us
He sacrificed himself without any kind of fuss
Regrets and missed chances in him did dwell
Also he had limitations and challenges as well.

I witnessed all those throughout my childhood.
I was perplexed why but recently I understood
It affected and shaped us his son and daughter
We hoped he would have a better life chapter

It wasn't easy but we tried to make him change
We became hard with him that maybe strange
Until I myself gave up. We just allowed his will.
Not knowing what to do yet we care for him still

But I myself wanted to motivated not to give up
But who are we to force him to suddenly stop
I want to find answers so I opted to be a nurse
Studied hard seemingly trying to avert a curse

Everytime I achieve something, he was proud.
In me I wanted him to be identified in the crowd
Thus that kept him to support me all the way
But he never forced me, up to me to weigh

I kept asking myself how I could help my father 
I get confused the more information I gather
Never really found the answers not until lately
Nothing could be done against his will primarily

I was harsh, cold that I learned in many years
Been numb insiduously, then went all my fears
Irritated at times, cause he's out of our control
We can't monitor him all day out like on patrol

A lot of why's in my head, but I wouldn't mind
Especially when begins to have fun and unwind
Until our greatest fear befell: his sudden death
Shocked that upon him we would lay a wreath

Though you are now gone, we'll never forget,
Gone are the days my mistakes I could offset
But within me, I treasure all I learned from you
I will consider them from now in everything I do

And though you're no longer here with us now
Anything harmful to those you left I won't allow
I know now you found your happiness in infinity
Thus your spirit lives on in our hearts in eternity

Still hard to accept but rest in peace, my father
Never we told you you meant a lot to us rather
I am sorry. Thank you for all concern and love,
Now you'll be our shining northern star above.


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