The Choice of Anger
As someone who has been through a lot of ups and downs recently, I used to hold onto a lot of anger and resentment towards some people who hurt me deeply. I thought that my anger was justified and that it was the only thing keeping me from falling apart completely. But in reality, my anger was only holding me back from finding true happiness and moving on. This is the focus of this blogpost.
It takes a lot of courage and self-love to make the decision to let go of my anger and forgive those individuals. It isn't an easy process, but in the end, it can be worth it. Personally, I finally realized that holding onto anger was only causing me more pain and suffering, while those individuals had moved on with their life. I was the only one still trapped in the past, unable to let go. This is a never-ending negative-laden cycle.
However, we have to note that anger can be a powerful motivator. It can give us the energy and drive you need to stand up for yourself or to fight for what you believe in. When used appropriately, anger can also help you set healthy boundaries and communicate your needs and feelings clearly. This had been the case for me, the anger and the resentment came to a point that I never had no alternatives left but to leave. My body can no longer endure the pain, and the only option was address the question of moving away. This is quite natural as stress and pain induce fight-or-flight response.
Yet, there are also many disadvantages to anger. When we hold onto anger, it can negatively affect our physical and mental health, causing stress, anxiety, and even depression. It can also damage our relationships with others, causing rifts and creating conflict. When we let our anger control us, we may say or do things that we later regret. We may lash out at others or act impulsively. This had been disadvantageous for me as I began to drift away from those individuals who know me best - my family and friends. In turn, the anger worsened as I lost the opportunity to vent out my feelings without being judged, and still be accepted. That deteriorating experience is both terrifying and terrible, I must say.
Physically, anger can also cause a number of health problems. When we get angry, our bodies release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which can lead to increased heart rate, blood pressure, and respiratory rate. This stress hormones could change the way we eat, sleep and how our body reacts to these changes. Over time, these physiological alterations can cause damage to the body, including an increased risk of heart disease, stroke, and other chronic conditions.
Mentally, anger can also have a number of negative effects. It can cause us to lash out at others or engage in destructive behavior, which can damage our relationships, our careers, and our sense of self-worth. Anger can also lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and regret, which can further exacerbate our negative emotions and make it harder to move on. This makes the solution to anger even more complex and evasive.
But forgiveness is never an easy choice either, and there are times when the pain can seem unbearable. But the truth is, holding onto anger and resentment will only keep you stuck in the past. It's important to understand that feeling angry is a natural response to pain and loss, but it's not a healthy or productive way to deal with those emotions. The process of forgiveness is never linear, it is unpredictable and at times frustrating. We get to relive the anger when we presented by triggers that remind us of the reason why the anger took place. However, reliving the anger would also present the opportunity for us to reflect on what we can in the future to prevent similar mistakes. There exists a silverlining in this situation indeed.
Thus, if you find yourself holding onto anger towards someone, whether it's an ex-partner or anyone else in your life, it's crucial to take a step back and reflect on why you feel that way. Is your anger truly directed towards them, or are you angry with yourself for allowing things to happen? Are you holding onto your anger as a way to avoid dealing with the pain of loss? The answers to these questions are never easy, and sometimes vague. The questions may pose as triggers themselves. However, these questions are necessary to move on, and convert anger to a productive energy for positive change.
Remember, it's okay to feel angry, but it's not okay to let it consume you. Take the time to process your emotions, and when you're ready, make the choice to forgive and let go. Just keep in mind that the process requires effort, time and self-love. It's not an easy decision, but it's one that will ultimately set you free.