To you who will forever be a child
I hope when you read this one day, I hope you will really understand what this means. I do not expect you to feel something out of this, but I am writing this with my whole heart. Today, I learned you are different and will forever be one. It hurts that you will never be the doctor or lawyer we want you to be. It is hard but I have just to accept the fact. We will be forever be your guardians to the last breath of our lives. For you will forever be a child.
I want to be brave enough for now but I fear the day that we will no longer be here. When no one will protect you from people who will curse and insult you. When we are no longer there to assist you. I hope you will learn to remember these days when you have many sets of parents. Everyone around you is your parent or guardian. I hope you even learn to know who they are and their past and experiences. When you do that, I will be happy. I am just afraid that one by one, we will be gone and forever, you will be locked in the lonely world you are into without someone taking care or protecting you. For you will be forever be a child.
Yes, we can make your life better, but who are we to judge whether you are feeling great or fine. We could even hardly understand what you want to say. For now, what I want is you to learn at least express your needs. This is for us to know when you need to eat, bathe, clothe or drink. It is difficult to set that goal, for I know you deserve to do and achieve more. For you to read, understand abstractly, engage in debates or write a book are something I dream of. I do not want to set high expectations, but I dream you get to do them. Those are my bucket-list for you, but I am uncertain if you will ever do that. For you will forever be a child.
We will vow to live longer, and be patient enough to understand everything about you. We will protect your rights, although you may seem not to know what they are. We want to protect you from a cruel judging society that you even would not know. At least the world you will get to know is different from ours. It will not be cruel. That world will never discriminate you. What hurts is that you can never share your experiences in that world to us. We would gladly hear what you think of you world for us to learn things we would never know. Our child please let us know. For you will forever be a child.
A hug or an eye contact would be enough to make us happy. When you do that, I am glad. My heart will be full of joy when you start building relationships with others, making friends and talking with them all-day-long. Tears of joy would keep running, when you engage yourself in activities for the society. However today, I do not know whether those thoughts would ever be real. Today, I just want you to grow safe in nurturing, neutral and non-judgmental society. Perhaps, you could invite me in the future to run, or climb a mountain. I would gladly do that. I hope you train and prepare yourself to do them. Make sure your safe. Take it easy. We will patiently wait. For you will forever be a child.
Half of everything I earn in my life would go to you. I do not care how you would spend it though. Buy everything you like. Go and take a cruise in the Carribean or Mediterranean. I do not mind for you deserve to be happy, if you ever learn to feel that way. Do not worry of us. We are all passers-by in this world, I realized. When we are gone, you take care of yourself. I do not know how much secure you will by that time. However, reading this I hope you will know we tried everything we could. You know you are lucky enough. You will never ever grasp the concept of growing old. We will all grow old and die, but you will always believe you are young and ageless. For you will forever be a child.
We will forever love you, our child.