Why do we feel jealous?

I have once said Filipinos are one of the most jealous people in the world. You may disagree on this but I find a lot of reasons to believe this. I myself am.

There are several aspects about jealousy. Usually, it is associated with relationships we have or are planning to have. However, jealousy can also be personal like when we observe what others have. In the second type, I can be such, but I know how to deal with it. But what I will be discussing now is why we are jealous in terms of perceived or real relationships.

1. Jealousy is an indicator of something lacking in a relationship.

No relationship is perfect and so it is natural to ask for something better to make the relationship nearer to perfection. Most often, jealousy stems from our desire for constant communication and much deeper emotional connection. It is natural to feel jealous then, but addressing the primary need should be adequately address, rather than focusing on how jealous we can be.

2. Jealousy is an expression of what we lack in ourselves.

Our insecurities itself contribute to the feeling of jealousy. We are afraid of whether we can give enough to another and so feel jealousy in thinking that someone could provide it better than we do. Understanding and accepting the other with all his or her insufficiencies are probable solutions to this. We can never have a perfect partner and so it is inevitable that the partner feels jealous at times. Reassuring the person, coupled with congruence of words and actions would certainly help. If the other really thinks the insufficiency is unacceptable, then it is time to move on because there is no reason to be with that person.

3. Jealousy is an attempt to keep someone.

Most of all, jealousy is a simple plea or call to another. It is a message that needs to be understood, not ignored. We can positively respond to the call or opt to be honest about how we think and feel. This is the risk of being jealous. We may get a good answer or totally opposite of it. Before making a plea through jealousy, we should evaluate first the two other reasons why we are jealous, so we are prepared of the consequences our jealousy could bring.

Lastly, I have just said that Filipinos are very jealous. This, however means that for us building and protecting relationships matter most, just like how we treasure our families. As a result of our extreme passion on relationships, we become jealous. Worse, we do things out of proportion. We just have to keep in mind that there is nothing wrong about being jealous, rather the consequences of jealousy make it wrong. Thus, it is important that we know how to handle it whether we are the one feeling it or the subject of it.


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