Exploiting Another's Generosity

All of us are encouraged to share. This is a virtue that was taught to us since we were younger. However, sometimes culture determines how generous one should be to family and friends. When can one say generosity becomes excessive and gearing towards abusive nature?

As a Filipino, I was taught to be hospitable, although I do not completely adhere with it. My family raised me to be patient and accommodating enough to anyone who needs favor or help. The best thing my parents encouraged me to do indirectly is give favors for free and ask nothing in return.

When one could say another is exploiting one's generosity?


When one asks for a favor or help from another, which one does not lack or need. For example, a friend, who is perfectly capable and has the time and resources asks help from another even though the latter is unable to do so or will experience difficulty and undue discomfort in doing so. Hence, before one asks for help, he or she must be sensitive also of the need and the capacity of the person being asked.

Excessively regular and repetitive

Favors are easily differentiated from need. Needs are constant, while favors must be made seldom rather than too often. Favors, furthermore are direct or indirect attempts to address comfort or one's need with the help of another. Moreover, everyone must be reminded that once a person agrees to give another a favor with or without obvious agreement for one time, one would expect to get the same or higher favor next time or many times. A favor is subject to approval everytime it is asked, and is not related to the degree of closeness or relationship between the people involved.

Getting increasily awkward

When one is asking help, he or she must be genuinely concerned about possible consequences or discomfort a favor could result to another. By being genuine, one must avoid in all means making the same favor again and again, considering favors usually have negative effects to the person being asked for. For not to be exploitative and excessive, being sensitive is the key and acting correctly and accordingly.

Many times when I try to ask for a favor, I usually return the favor, but it is not really necessary to do I realize. A favor is a favor. Perhaps one becomes more obligated to return the favor if the favor becomes tremendously unnecessary, excessive, repetitive and inconvenient.

Lastly, I am writing this article not to sympathize to those who are too generous to share. They know when their generosity is being exploited, but they just keep quiet. In the first place, their generosity should have not been exploited if they know how to refuse a favor. Instead, this intends to educate those who gets benefits from another's generosity.  This I hope will serve as a reminder to those who should know their boundaries even how close one could be to the person being asked for help or favor. To them: stop it unless you want to be remembered and avoided by everyone as such and because of such.


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