Attention: The Ultimate Relationship Key

The greatest need of an individual perhaps is recognition of one's presence. This allows a person to be himself or herself in any situation, may it be stressful, new or not. This gives an individual the needed self-confidence to solve problems to contribute for others and function better as an individual. This is the reason why we, humans need to get the attention we need from others to be at ease with ourselves, and at the same time be socially-effective in our relationships with others.

The opposite is actually true. A person who is not getting sufficient and appropriate attention will never realize the advantages of having a relationship at all. It is therefore crucial to describe the process of determining what kind of attentions we humans need and find in another.

Attention reflects fundamental interest.

The beginning of any relationship is charactericterized by increasing amount of attention given by both individuals in a relationship. This is therefore the state when people are more focused on the quantity of attention, rather than its quality. Increased attention would simply reflect interest with one another. This could be in the form of attraction, admiration or any form of feeling that keeps one attention with another. The surge of positive and passionate emotions come after, such that one is willing to spend more time knowing and being with the other. However, many still have difficulties at this stage. In fact, there are many who are incapable of initiating a relationship just because of fear and lack of confidence in oneself, worthy to be remarkable by anyone to reciprocate attention with. It is therefore important that to begin in a relationship, individuals are open to give attention to another, confident, willing enough to receive it, and at least, confident enough to have it.

Attention must reflect balance.

Finding the balance is a crucial thing. Giving attention must not be too strict and overly-driven for it could be perceived as an attempt to control and manipulate the other. In a relationship, individuals must feel free and be recognized mutually and equally. No one should pervasively dominate in all areas of the relationship. On the other hand, attention must not be too loose, such that one is over-confident that the other will stay in the relationship, no matter what happens. This is a false belief of one that needs to be corrected. No one in this world would stay into something, without feeling being eagerly-wanted into it in the first place. Attention must be given regardless how easy the relationship started. People may initiate relationships quickly, but the need for attention remains. Therefore, an easy start may not mean an easy relationship maintenance. Individuals in a relationship still require finding the balance of the quality of attention to give and be given.

Attention must be varied from time to time.

Variation is perhaps the key to hold individuals within the bond of a relationship. Monotony and routine kill what it could have been good in a relationship. This is to say that even one means good for another, if the means of delivering actions to another are seemingly the same, there will come a time that appreciating the attention given will eventually be diminished. Variation results to excitement and unpredictability, which eventually lead to increased interest of one to another. The cycle repeats, but the attention and attraction become more intense. In this way, people withstand challenges in the relationship because the bond that holds together is significantly stronger than any circumstance that would threaten to destroy it.

Every human beings has a different view on what kind of attention is sufficient and appropriate. Many could tolerate more than others. The subjective nature of human beings contributes to the complexity of attention. There are no exact rules as to how it is achieved perfectly. What one could do is simply describe how things are occurring in the real world. People get interested at first, then find the balance and thereafter vary how attention is given to strengthen existing relationships. In this way, people get what they want, and are capable of giving others what they can.


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