3 Basics in Relationships

Building and maintaining relationships whether among siblings, lovers, family members or friends must meet some basics to effectively harness the benefits both personal and social between individuals involved. In this blogpost, I will attempt to exclude love or affection from the picture as the concept seems vague and abstract. The three examples given are concrete minimum conditions theoretically and practically every relationship should have.

Mutually spending time with each other

Variation, consistency and frequency of spending time with each other is perhaps the description of the desired quality of this requisite. One has to engage on varied activities to avoid monotony, as well as to allow avenue for communication and knowing each other.  Moreover, consistency reflects security which may nurture the relationship furthermore.

Mutually talking actively with each other

To actively seek opportunities to communicate is very important. This does not just require one to have the will to do so, but to attempt and show to the other that there was an attempt made. Usually, once the other becomes passive in making oneself available for conversations, this marks the beginning of a declining or weakening relationship. To do so, one should want to communicate, know when to talk or what the other is seemingly thinking to initiate a conversation. This entails openness between individuals on both catalysts or hindrances of communication, experienced or imagined, convenient or difficult to discuss on.

Mutually curious each other's interest

One's personality is a multiplying factor in a relationship. The similarities and contrasts in personalities are the driving influence for curiosity. With being curious, the other may lose interest, thus thwarting further developing the relationship. To know everything about the person or predict easily how the other reacts is therefore a no-no. There should be something new to know, thereby challenging individuals to try new things even outside comfort zones to remain interesting enough for another.

Interestingly, trust was not included. Theorists say trust is the building block in a relationship that it should be present first before anything else. In an intimate relationship, trust is nurtured through time, not declared at the start. This is to say, through the three basics discussed trust may or may not be attained. Pessimistically saying, a relationship could still exist, grow or be maintained without strong trust as long as time, communication and continuing curiosity are present.

As also mentioned, love was deliberately excluded in the explanation, but naturally, love could not be removed from the picture. In fact, the three points may serve as signs of affection or love. However, the objective is to pinpoint the 3 basics, so love or any relationship would not work without fulfilling the mentioned prerequisites in this post. Ofcourse, the purpose is not to just to set standards but also to give room for discussion for existing relationship needing some improvements on the said points.