Trust and the Trustworthy
In this time of convenience and efficiency, the need for trust and to be trustworthy is very eminent. It would seem then that all people have their own motives in every step they take. All of us are guilty of the cycle of deception and mistrust. This is the focus of this article.
Trust seems to emanate from infancy specifically from our parents or caregivers. The consistency of the attending our needs during this crucial period defines are ability to trust others when we grow up. This also determines our ability to form relationships with others, as we mirror how we were raised to how we communicate and deal with others. Many people have said that without trust, one cannot effectively develop friendships and associations with others. Some may have established relationships, but should trust be absent, the formed relationship is considered just existent outwardly, but a failure in its essence.
Trust is indeed basic. It is simply knowing and feeling that someone will care for us, or look for our benefit, regardless of whether doing so may compromise the one caring, or not. Trust is associated with selflessness, although it is not automatic. Ideally, a person who is trustworthy shows empathy, as he or she looks on others first before himself or herself. However, another form of being trustworthy is attending the needs of the others, as doing so is perceived to be in line with the objectives one has for himself or herself. The second one is more realistic, as humans are naturally selfish. One could not expect one to think of others first before oneself.
There are many reasons to be trust another, but there is one disadvantage of trusting people easily. That is, trust sometimes leads to being naïve, to the point people used the person for their own benefit. Personally speaking, many times I have trusted several organizations where I worked for. Many times I felt being used and manipulated, for the reason I trusted them wholeheartedly. I do not care being used as long as I fully believe at least of their objectives and vision set by the organization, rather than the people working for it. This has been my personal crusade. I simply do not care, because when I see a noble goal to be reach, especially for the benefit of many; I would simply close my eyes and follow. Though I do not deny that it hurts to be betrayed after putting all your trust. Well, I would continue to trust still, even though that makes me vulnerable.
Aside from trusting organizations or group of people, the most common of trust involves individuals, may it be a friend, partner, family member or loved ones. Based on what we see and experience, the betrayal from these relationships is the sometimes the most painful. Although it is painful, this type of mistrust is the easiest and most convenient to do. It is easy to be unfaithful, when one knows the other is fully trusting. It is easy to talk behind a person, when one knows that there a lot of alibis to cover up the action. Moreover, it is easy to wrong act to a person, who has no choice but to communicate because of affinity and agreements. It is easy to break trust nowadays.
The irony is we demand people to be trustworthy, but we ourselves are not teaching ourselves to be one. This simply shows our selfishness or perhaps our human nature. We provide excuses of being hurt after being betrayed. However, we ourselves does the same to others. Sometimes, it leaves me the question whether mistrust is contagious. When one feels being betrayed, one must shift his or her thoughts from being trustworthy to the one, who betrays as well. If betrayal is contagious, then when will it end? This will just be a form of a cycle.
At least we know there was a time, when all of us where thinking everything in this world is trustworthy. This is during infancy, when we have not learned how cruel the world can be. We fully trust people and we think everyone is trustworthy, even though they may not be. However, we can never be infants forever, or take the mindset of an infant. We need to grow, but this does not give us the reason to betray another. If we have done before, we could always start anew. Build that trust within and nurture it, by trusting others. Perhaps when others see one is trusting, they will also do so. Perhaps if betrayal is contagious, trust could also be. One simple act of trust could motivate others to do the same. :-)